Your lockdown questions answered

Feeling grumpy and irritable? Or perhaps it’s more like full-blown anxiety or anger?

Either way, the pandemic and its ripple effects has left us all a bit wobbly.

So here two Phillip Island mental health specialists answer a few common Covid questions.

Psychologist Libby Thompson runs All You Can Be Psychology and specialises in working with sufferers of anxiety and stress, including post-traumatic stress disorder (allyoucanbepsychology.com).
Psychotherapist Jo Ablett runs Into Blue Expressive Therapies, specialising in counselling and psychotherapy for children, teens and adults, focusing on emotional healing, wellbeing and skill development (intoblue.com.au).

Question: What’s your best advice for lockdown doldrums?

Libby: “It’s hard. I try to spend as little time as possible doom scrolling through news and social media. I like to get outside every day. Walking in the rain can be fun. I look for good belly laughs. They help. Try singing and dancing – lots of families are having fun doing this or just being silly in some way.”

Jo: “Keep to a routine. Turn off the news, especially when children are present, and limit social media. Give yourselves permission to have fun, play and laugh a lot, and watch comedy.
“Acknowledge how you or your family genuinely feel. Toxic positivity isn’t helpful. Create small projects to look forward to each day, even if it is sorting out your drawers. Start something new: a journal or an art pad, meditation (Insight Timer has thousands of free meditations and talks – find one that suits you).
“Create small things to look forward to: a special meal, a game with family on zoom, a project.”

Question: How to cope with homeschooling?

Libby: “It’s hard on everyone. Doing something to help someone else often helps us to feel better too. My suggestion would be to help the mum in your house. She is doing so much more than she should be right now. Could you do something to give her a break? Write her a thank you? Give her a back rub? Ask her what she would like. Making mum feel good just might make you feel good too.”

Jo: “For parents I’d say “good enough parenting” actually benefits children rather than having a detrimental impact. Donald Winnicott (1953), coined the term “good enough parenting” after observing thousands of mothers and babies. Current research continues to support this concept. Don’t beat yourselves up, you’re doing your best in lockdown, as are our teachers and students.
“Aim for balance above perfection. Help young children to feel safe by avoiding discussions about lockdown, the virus and showing your own fear and anger in their presence. Your anxiety is passed on to them and they feel unsafe.”

Question: How to deal with people whose opinions or actions you disagree with?

Libby: “I am trying to just focus on myself and what I am doing or not doing and leave others to do their own thing. I don’t need to police other people. Just myself. When I accept I can’t change the actions of others and get on with doing what I think is right for me, it helps.”

Jo: “If you prefer to challenge the opinion do it with well informed, factual information. If you prefer not to engage in a disagreement, be assertive, not aggressive. Let them know you prefer not to talk, and agree to disagree. Be kind to yourself and others.”

Question: Dealing with loneliness in the pandemic, discuss.

Libby: “I try to connect with music, nature, art, people who make me feel good. I look for things that make me smile. That helps. Lately I love watching movies that have happy endings. They are a good antidote to this crazy world right now. Creating something crafty. Cooking. Singing. Dancing. Listening to music. Reading a good book. All these things keep me company.”

Jo: “Sadly this is not a problem exclusive to the current situation but highlighted and exacerbated by lockdowns. It is possible to join live groups for yoga, exercise, meditation (Insight Timer). Let people know you are feeling lonely and isolated. Make connections.
Check on neighbours.”

Question: Where do you find joy (especially locally)?

Libby: “Hugs rock! I love hugs. I also love nature. On the island we are spoilt. Lately I just love watching everything come to life with the change of season. I have enjoyed having more time to notice things. What phase of the moon we are in, what time the sun comes up. I love checking out sunrises, sunsets and looking at the stars on clear nights. Connecting with nature is so important for our health.”

Jo: “The beach, as many residents of the island and San Remo would agree. My favourite thing is riding my bike on low tide along the beach, creating and tending the garden and doing yoga online.”