Mind, body, spirit
Jay Milford-Robertson talks about how he faced his own demons and turned his life around.
Jay Milford-Robertson is the manager of Grip Fitness gym in Cowes, and has his own personal training business
Here, in his first column for the Advertiser, the father-of-two talks about how he faced his own demons and turned his life around, especially his mind, thoughts and feelings.
I became a personal trainer about a decade ago. Back then it was all about training the body. I wasn’t interested in the mind.
But over the past five years I’ve learnt how it feels to have a poor mindset and be on a self-destructive path.
I now see how the mind and body are so interconnected and a healthy mind is just as important as a healthy body, if not more important.
A few years ago I was setting up several new gym businesses in Melbourne. I was working really hard and got to a stage of burnout. My energy levels were completely depleted and I was making really poor decisions.
I stopped training and looking after myself physically and I started using drugs and alcohol. Just recreational use. I thought it would help manage my pain and the issues I was dealing with.
But it didn’t.
Probably a turning point for me was when I realised how unhappy I was. I could see it was out of control and I was determined to make a change to start good habits.
A lot of people face that same question: how bad does it have to get before you make a change?
Having kids was also a turning point for me.
The first major change was to get out of Melbourne, step away from the businesses, and get out of a toxic environment.
Moving to Phillip Island (in 2019) was a big change in lifestyle.
After that I adopted new habits. Reading books was probably one of the first big changes.
I left school in year 10 and had never read a book. I wasn’t educated.
But I realised it was important to educate myself about things I didn’t understand, which then helped me grow and change.
So a friend recommended Becoming Supernatural by Joe Dispenza, who uses research to explore how people transform their lives.
That book really kickstarted change for me. It explains how negative thoughts and feelings can make you sick and positive thoughts are healing. It’s all interconnected.
Another book that has helped is The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz – about how self-limiting beliefs take away joy - and also I’ve read all the books by former SAS soldier Ant Middleton.
One of the books I’m reading now is by Wim Hof, an extreme athlete known for his breathing methods in freezing temperatures.
So now one of my new habits is taking a cold shower for a minute in the morning – either after a hot shower, or only having cold. It helps with cardiovascular health, but if you’ve got negative thoughts, have a cold shower and you’ll see your thoughts change.
Even just this habit has made me happier, more positive.
I now read every day and I put a list of books that have helped me on my website to recommend to clients.\
People have to find what works for them, though. I just started out following people who interested me.
